Articles & news by t.d. Wilson and Contributors
Welcome to the MRCA Articles and News Page.
Here you will find articles written by MRCA leaders and members as well as news and updates on MRCA events and other topics of interest. If you have stories that you would like to share about raising children alone, send us an email. We would love to hear from you!
Thoughts on Being a Single Parent
T.D. Wilson
There are definite disadvantages to being a parent, grandparent, or guardian raising children alone. If raising children wasn't hard enough, raising children alone immediately makes that task two or three times more difficult. Recently, I overheard a couple of Christian ladies in a conversation, knocking single mothers in general and mothers who work out side the home specifically. It was very disheartening to hear these women, who are in positions of authority and who claim to be living the Christian lifestyle, be so critical of something they were fortunate enough not to have to endure. I'm certain that many of the other single parents, or grandparents raising their children's children, are as frustrated as I am by this disrespect and ignorance. As a single mother who works outside a home, it was never my intention or decision to raise my children alone. Most single parents simply do not have the option to stay home rather than work, and single-parent homes are always not the result of carelessness or recklessness. Often parents find themselves alone due to divorce, death of their spouse, or the need to escape a bad or dangerous situation, as was the case for me.
Mothers Raising Children Alone believes in the family and we believe in the nuclear families and we want to see marriages survive. Statistics and research support that it is far better for children to live in a home with two happy parents who love each other as God intended, but things don't always work out the way we envisioned. When this ideal situation is not possible, parents need to do what is best for themselves and for their children. Raising a child on your own should not feel like wearing a scarlet letter on your chest. As a mother raising her children alone, I want all of the other people raising children alone to remember that you are not alone in this effort because God is by your side; stand strong and be of good courage because God as a plan for you and your children.
"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart." (Jeremiah 1:5)
God and Single Mothers
When parenting without a partner seems like more than a girl can bear, it is time to look to God for the strength to carry you through the day. Society and even other Christians can be critical of mothers who are unmarried, have been divorced, or are widows, but God is not. When it feels like you need a man in your life, there is one man you can always rely on. It is written:
"For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name, and the Holy One is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth is he called." (Isaiah 54:5)
God tells single mothers that their children may not have an earthly father, but they have the greatest father of all in God just as their mothers have a husband who will never fail them. Here at MRCA, we want to remind each and every parent to look to God for strength and guidance. We believe in the importance of building a life around our faith, because a family led by God can't go wrong. With God as our leader and each other for fellowship and support, the members of MRCA are dedicated to raising our children to reflect the values and morals we uphold.
Parenting Tips for Single Parents
In many ways, single parenting is not that different from raising a child in a two-parent home. In both situations, it is important for parents to serve as role models, to lead by example, to discipline consistently, and to provided support for their children. However, there are distinct differences between single parents and married ones which make single parenting a little different. Some of the things it is important to keep in mind as a single parent are:
1. Create a stable home environment. This is especially true if you have only recently become a single parent, but it is an important aspect of successful parenting for all homes. Children need stability, from their home environment to routines and schedules they can feel certain about. Establish these routines and enforce them in your home.
2. Be present with your children. Being a single parent is not easy; you have many responsibilities to juggle and it is easy to try to multitask while playing a game with your son or daughter. Don't. Your child can tell when you are not paying attention, and they need to know that they are still important to you. One of the best ways to do this is to read to your children regularly. This activity is good for their intellectual development, can reinforce stability, requires you to focus on reading, and enforces the bond between parent and child.
3. Make time for yourself. As a single parent, it probably seems like there is never enough time to get everything done. However, if you let your needs be pushed aside, you will get run down and your whole family will suffer. Make time to socialize with other single parents as well as other couples so that your children interact with traditional nuclear families as well as others like their own.
4. Don't be afraid to discipline your child. Loneliness is a problem for many single parents, and it can be tempting to treat your children as friends or peers rather than as a child. However, children without discipline suffer themselves in the long run. Children who have clear rules and are punished consistently for violating them learn important skills and have fewer problems as they go through their school years.
5. Ask for help. It may seem like you need to do everything yourself as a single parent, but one person simply doesn't have all the answers or the ability to do everything. Ask questions about parenting, ask questions about where the best schools are located, ask for help starting a carpool - if you feel overwhelmed and lost, look to someone you respect and trust, and ask for guidance.
I'm sure that all of the MRCA members have their own tips for parenting alone, and I look forward to hearing all of them!
